LESSON 8- Hold a Grudge and it shall hold you!

Saying nasty things about others makes you nastier than them!

There are those people who say bad things about others and there are those few who have been blessed to hold their tongue. I cannot proudly lift my head up and say that I have not said a bad word or two, I have. But I can proudly say that I had apologised after.

My mum always said to my sister and I , "If you have nothing good to say about somebody, don't speak at all" as well as "Think before you say anything, it gives you time to realize whether its something good or bad"
Nobody likes a nasty bitter person, they will always be remembered that way. No matter how upset we get, the impression we leave, is the lasting one.

At some point in everybody's life we will come across people who we will not like. Either they will say something bad about you, say something bad to you or even insult your loved ones. They could be the jeolous kind, who enjoy making you look bad or even steal something very dear to you. It could be any reason that will make you almost hate them for a long time.
The point is when you look at your reason for holding that hate, it seems pretty stupid to carry with for the rest of your life. The more hate you carry, the longer the burden to endure. It is easier to forgive and forget than to remember forever. For those who find it hard to forgive, at lease try to forget.

BASIC TRUTH: Smile at the face of grudge and it shall run away!

LESSON 7 - If jealousy is the green eyed monster then anger is the red horned monkey!

Anger! No matter how hard we try, it comes almost to impossible to control the nasty words that come out from our mouths. 

I chose to speak about this lesson today because I am one of those that desperately needs help when it comes to controlling my anger. 

I was a very calm, happy and talkative person but ever since I got married, I turned into this uneasy, annoyed, paranoid, loud(screaming) , irritable, worrying , frustrated and extremely the opposite of who I was. This is one of the many reasons why I began this blog, to find myself again.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that my marriage changed me. Well it did a little. What I mean is that ever since I got married, I had alot of nasty things come my way.

People began to talk freely around me, things that I really do not want to hear!

I was expected to give my opinion about everything, as long as it made them happy!

Agree to whatever decisions are made, even if it suffocated me.

Learn never to expect gratitude from anybody.

Learn never to even jokingly complain about anything, people always take it seriously!

All of a sudden I am coming to know about peoples nasty habits and affairs.

No matter how hard I try to keep problems within the four walls, somehow it leaks.

It infuriates me everytime I have to face these issues!

Every marriage has its ups and downs, but thats what makes us strong and connected.

BASIC TRUTH - When the red monkey burns my skull, hold my mouth shut and stay in the bathroom for an hour.

LESSON 6 - Backbiting will come back to bite you!

Its true! Even if you use no name and tell the secret, its still backbiting!
Honestly speaking, as far as I can remember I have never told anothers secret. Probably because I knew that no matter how hard I kept the secret for the other, somehow or the other the word gets out. And thats when it becomes my fault even though I was not the snitch.
The word 'secret' in itself is the temptation.
My secrets, no matter how small they are, has never slipped from my tongue. I guess I have trust issues!!!
Anyway todays lesson is about stopping yourself from backbiting because the truth is no matter how juicy the story is to tell, it will come back to you.

Scenario
Imagine a friend A telling best friend B of her husbands affair with a model. B finding the story too juicy to keep to herself finds it safe to tell C. C, who is unknown to A, tells her colleagues at work. One colleague finds it so strange that the name is familiar tells A's neighbour to confirm the story. Neighbour shocked at the name and story runs immediately to A to warn her of the rumours been spread about her husband.

I am sure you will love to know more but that was just a rewritten scenario of what happened. The real one goes on and on and on before it reached the poor wife. It's safe to say though that she will be careful with the friends she chooses.

BASIC TRUTH - Be careful of whom you share your stories with. Do not become that biting friend. Choose your men first with the mind then let the heart follow.

Also don't let that friend tramp over you, kick that ass!!!!!!!

LESSON 5 - The fruit of patience is really sweet!

We live in an generation that doesn't practice patience as often as we need to.

We have become so accustomed in getting things done quickly that when we bump into being patient, we blow our heads off.

It's not easy wanting something so bad and at the same time waiting for it. It is difficult!

But that does not mean we should become spoilt brats and scream our heads off at others. Nobody likes a bitter spoilt brat. And I am not talking about children, they scream their heads off all the time for nothing, I am talking about those supposedly sensible young and old adults who need a wake up call.

BASIC TRUTH - Being patient always has its rewards.

Lesson - Being patient with yourself allows you to be patient with others and in turn makes you the better person.

 

Basic truth: LESSON 4 - Bragging is for the weak!

Basic truth: LESSON 4 - Bragging is for the weak!: "We love to pamper ourselves with beautiful garments, ornaments, jewellery and we even go overboard in making our homes too expensive to live..."

LESSON 4 - Bragging is for the weak!

We love to pamper ourselves with beautiful garments, ornaments, jewellery and we even go overboard in making our homes too expensive to live in.

My question is "WHY?".

Many of us, including myself at one point, would say, " To enjoy the beauty and let others compliment your style of living."
Thats where we go wrong. You wouldn't believe it, but in my journey of self discovery I have seen many people who go way beyond their budget to make themselves look good. When asked, they replied frankly that they want to look and live better than anyone else.

It might not come to a shock for some of you because surprisingly almost 70% of the people I have come across, live to please others.
People love to brag, they look for opportunities where they can talk about their expensive assets. Its sad to think of people like that, because it makes them seem like thats all they have to live for in life.

My dad often gets frustrated when he meets people who brag. Recently he met somebody that bragged about their house getting done up with the most expensive decor on the market, it still cracks me up with the response my father gave that person. He told them that if he could help it he would break every window in our house and replace it with cardboard boxes, at least he will have a good nights sleep.

The Basic Truth - Never live for the sake of showing off. If your right hand does something good, don't let your left hand know.

LESSON 3 - Be the better person, no matter what!

It's very easy to get through life the sinfull way and it becomes even more harder when its time to repent those sins. There isn't many of us who can proudly say "I have done good today!". We use the easy door number three and just lie our way out of our problems.

I have done many things that I am not proud of but when I look at others, I think of myself as the better person. Some of the people I have come across, I would have never imagined them to be so poorly minded.

It takes years of bitterness and a moment to apologise.

Pride takes over many of us. It takes alot to walk upto somebody and apologise. The question is, "How bad can it be to apologise?" What is the worst that could happen? The person will reject your apology and thats it. But imagine how much better it would feel knowing you were the better person than him.

Not many of us believe we have the ability to do good and thats because we have trained our minds in believing we can't.

The Basic Truth is - nobody is born bad. Its what we learn and preach that defines who we truly are.

I know I would really feel awfull if somebody told me I was a bad person. Admitting one's sin and learning from it is better than acting oblivious and doing it over and over again. No matter how much you ignore the truth it will come back to bite your ass.

That is called the circle of life. You do wrong, wrong will follow you. You do good and good will shower you.