One of the many rules I try to obey is never to let my anger get the best of me. It will come to no shock to some but I recently broke that rule! First time in my entire life I hated myself. I felt ashamed, depressed , bitter towards my family and friends and outright pain in the ass!
My husband and I have gone through many obstacles in our relationship but I eventually believed we had passed and moved on. Then to my shock and dissapointment he allowed those problems to reenter our lives - intentionally!!! It broke me completely. What probably made my breakdown worse was maybe the continuous intake of medication I had already been taking to overcome my bronchitis and alcer. Because of his stupid mistakes I had begun to snap at everybody at work and home. The pressure was too much to endure.
I eventually was left to stay in my house alone for three days with nothing but my friendly pills. My husband loves me and I adore him, thats the blady problem! He is the best husband , son in law and hopefully a great father someday, but even he has his weakness.
Now that the drugs in my body has worn off a bit, I began to analyse my situation. As my mum would say seperate your pros and cons and see which is more. The truth is I cannot even try to compare because already I know the pros have won by a long shot.
As they say, FOR BETTER OR WORSE! I enjoyed the better so much that when the worse came I acted like a spoilt brat.
BASIC TRUTH - Nomatter what happened to me at that moment, the evil that came out of my lips would always be remembered. Words said can never be taken back.
You're right - you do have to be careful about things you can't take back and I find myself having to bite my tongue often. The good thing about it, though is that you can forgive and move on - it may still be out there, but it'll be in the past & you have to leave it there.
ReplyDeleteIn reply to the comment you left on my blog - I'm a working wife, too and a mom...so we try to do all our shopping on the weekend for the meals planned the upcoming week. Makes it way easier on me when I get home after a busy day.